Barely Bearable Beer of the Month

Happy Sunday Funday, ya’ll! Even though the UCF Knights choked big time in the Cure  Bowl game, I still had a rowdy time. I know this segment has been on a hiatus as of recent, but all this tailgating led me to revive it after crushing cheap beers one after another with friends and family. Looking at you NardDog… I had a realization that even imported “premium beer” can suck. This month’s beer is one that has been in too many country songs, and it’s synonymous with vacation: Corona Light.

Anyone’s beach vacation beer is going to be a Corona. That’s their marketing scheme most of us buy and once you’ve had a few (especially loaded), you forget how terrible this stuff is. The best way to describe this is Mexican water you hope you don’t catch Montezuma’s Revenge from. Now hang on as I break it down Barney style for you.

The aroma of this is reminiscent of the beach. It seems a bit salty, a bit refreshing, with a light and airy touch. Not sure if their marketing is why it reminds me of the beach, but it is what it is. On the other hand, it looks like what comes out after a few too many beers and I’ll use the description much decried by fellow beer enthusiasts: Yellow. Fizzy. Water.

Here comes the taste. Well, if you couldn’t judge it by the title you’re on your own skippy. The flavor reminds me of suspect water down in Central America with a touch of tequila to sanitize it. Alcohol kills germs, right? There is an aftertaste that reminds me of tequila that is marketed as “now shatterproof” when they switched to plastic containers. I’d rather lick a door mat than swish this swill around.

Mouthfeel is just like described above, yellow fizzy water. Very light, very drinkable, tastes like crap. Overall, this isn’t good or even mediocre; it’s just plain bad. However, it has booze in it and you can drink many of them which, tied to a great advertising campaign, turns into a successful brand.  If you slam a few of these with some shatterproof tequila (pronounced too-kill-ya), they’re all right, but there are many other beers that are cheaper and taste better (looking at you Busch Light).

Until next time, tight lines and cheers!

PS If anyone has any ideas on my next bad brew, I’m always looking for suggestions!

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